𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗲: 𝗔 𝗙𝗲𝘄 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿
Though people generally try to stay connected to mosques even on ordinary days here, the vibrancy of mosques, especially during Ramadan, is something different. On Fridays when schools are closed for professional activity day, mosques are filled to the brim, often reaching the farthest corners. The slight issue is that, since women don’t frequently go to mosques in Pakistan, their familiarity with mosque etiquette is a bit lacking, which sometimes leads to discomfort and disturbance.
𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝘄𝘀:
The most frustrating part is when it comes to straightening the rows. There is constant emphasis on straightening the rows and not leaving space in between. Even though repeated announcements are made, the early arrivals sit spread out, occupying space and filling the front rows. As a result, when the congregation stands for prayer, a noticeable gap often remains in the middle which cannot be filled, leaving much of the space empty. Try not to leave gaps in the rows.
𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗽𝗼𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗲:
About four years ago, we went to a mosque in New Jersey for the Maghrib prayer. Yahya was under two years old, and the women’s section was quite dark, with only a small amount of light coming through. Children are often scared of the dark, so we turned on a light. A woman, who had gone outside for a task, returned, and perhaps to set the mood, she turned off the light, disregarding the fact that others were also present in that section. We had intended to pray, but due to the darkness, Yahya got scared and went outside. He ended up in the men’s section, which was inappropriate for us to enter. I sent my daughter inside, but hearing Yahya’s voice, his father went to fetch him, fearing he would disturb others while crying. As a result, due to one woman trying to create a particular atmosphere, our congregation was disrupted.
With all due respect, but the behavior of older women in mosques towards mothers with young children can be quite unpleasant. It’s understood that when your children grow up and you have finished your duties, you come to the mosque to worship in peace, but that doesn’t give you the right to scold or glare at mothers bringing their children. Avoid monopolizing God’s house and let it be for all of His people.
𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻:
Many mosques now have separate rooms for those coming with children. It’s ideal to use these spaces so as not to disturb others with the noise of children. However, if you believe your children will sit quietly, there is no harm in joining the congregation. Often, the children’s rooms can be quite noisy, and the sound is not clear, so if your children are playful, it is better to choose the designated room to avoid disturbing others. If no separate room is available, opt for the last row so you can keep an eye on your child and not disturb others.
If a child is crying, the prayer can be interrupted. Once, at the Masjid al Haram, my daughter Fatima, just a few months old, started crying as the congregation stood for prayer. I was worried about what to do, but when the prayer was over, an Arab woman standing beside me gently explained that you can hold the child in your arms and still pray, demonstrating by doing so herself with one hand during bowing and prostration. The truth is, while your heart desires to worship, children can seem like a challenge. But taking care of them is a form of worship that only a mother can do. There will be many opportunities for other forms of worship in the future, Inshallah, but children won’t remain small forever. So, if it affects your prayer, don’t feel distressed. Give attention to your children, as they are also a source of reward.
𝗠𝗮𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗸 𝗜𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀:
Once, during Taraweeh prayers at a mosque, I encountered a woman who believed not only that the shoulders should be touching but also that when sitting, your feet should be tightly together. She kept giving a lecture on this, saying “sister, sister,” and physically pushed her feet to match mine. In this process, a rather awkward position developed, and my back was strained. The truth is, everyone’s body is different. Just because a particular way of standing or sitting seems correct to one person doesn’t mean it is the right way for everyone. So, while it’s fine to align shoulders, don’t impose your own standards on others.
𝗣𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲:
There was once a mosque where a woman acted like the “prayer police,” stopping anyone who came in wearing tight pants under a long shirt and forcing them to wear a skirt to pray. Not everyone feels comfortable wearing a communal skirt, especially young girls who have been brought to the mosque by their parents to get accustomed to it and hear good things in their ears. While proper dress is important, singling people out in public creates an embarrassing situation, and people may avoid the mosque as a result. Similarly, Pakistani and Indian women generally have a different way of prostrating, whereas women from other regions prostrate like men. The “prayer police” would send someone to correct their prostration. As a result, constant criticism often discourages people from going to the mosque. Providing awareness is good, but the approach should be better.
𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲:
It has been said that women who wear strong perfumes while shopping will not experience the fragrance of heaven. But this doesn’t mean one should smell bad. Sometimes, the unpleasant odor from others’ clothes or abayas becomes unbearable, and it makes standing close to them difficult. Fragrance has beauty, cleanliness is half of faith, and wearing clean clothes and applying a mild fragrance in a gathering of women is not a problem. It has a positive effect on both you and those around you.
𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝗖𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸:
If you have a cold or cough, it’s better to pray at home. Trust me, the constant coughing and sniffing can make others uncomfortable and disrupt their prayer. The flu is highly contagious and can make some people uncomfortable for weeks. So, it’s better to avoid public spaces when you’re ill.
𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴:
Some people bring their own prayer mats or shawls to avoid placing their forehead on the mosque’s carpet. However, it’s not always possible for the area covered by your sheet to extend all the way. Once, during Friday prayers, I happened to pray next to a family who had spread a sheet, and when the prayer ended, they immediately prepared to leave. Their actions made me worry that I might get flipped while they trying to move it. I ended up pulling the sheet away under me during prostration. While a bit awkward, the situation was resolved with no harm done. If you bring your prayer mat or sheet, make sure it covers only the area you need or learn to share and care.
𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻:
Make sure to go to the mosque, but also learn the basic etiquettes. The greatest act of worship is ensuring that others are not disturbed by you, and that they do not grow disenchanted with the mosque because of you. May Allah guide us all and make it easy for others, Ameen.
𝗤𝘂𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗹 𝗔𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗮𝗯𝗮
